To read books. I'm supposing you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?

Well you see, this is how it happens. Today I got two books back that I had lent to a friend. One of the books basically had a detailed list of events and places I visited on my last trip to Colorado, and to say the least I really wanted it back before I leave for Norway here in 4 days. The book is Donald Millers "Through painted Deserts" which is simply an incredible book! I wrote sooo much in this book; it basically contains my traveling thought process. I left it for my mom to read because it really is a book about leaving home and moving on, and of course the way Donald Miller thinks and the way my mom thinks are very much alike. 

Where was I?

Ooh yes!

As I was saying, when I picked my books up I decided that I really really wanted to read what I had underlined in my book. Soo... Here I am driving down a two lane highway with speeds varying from 70-80 mph around corners over hills and the roundabout. And as I'm speeding around enjoying my drive, I have the insane idea to pick up my book and flip through a few pages. By the time I recognize what I'm doing I've already read two paragraphs and I haven't even gazed at the road... :p Not exactly the smartest idea! It’s like... I have auto pilot built in I suppose?

Anyways.... I don't always read when I drive, in fact this was the first time. But! I always read at the worst times. I don't have any more examples but its true...

Anyways.

Also! Yesterday my friend told me today was a sad day. I knew what he was referring too but I completely disagreed with him and told him no, it is in fact a wonderful day. He ofcourse reminded me that it was 9/11 but lately I have had this intense urge to move on. My past does not mean as much to me anymore as my future does. I mean sure it is there, its beautiful, and intense, and sad, and insane. But... I have a new feeling in my shoes. I don't want to remember as much as I want to explore new experiences. Today isn't a sad today. In fact today was a beautiful day! My past will always be a part of me, but I'm ready to find the future. The last few years I've always lived in the past, even now I'm still stuck there. But I sense a feeling of release and of acknowledgement is here. A simple state of knowing every single mistake that I've made, and every single problem I have, and accepting them as who I've been and being okay with that. I'm just human. I don't believe I’m copping out, but I don't believe I'm beating myself up either. I've made my mistakes; I've been who I've been. Yet the future is right there waiting to become present and I'm so ready to move on from everything I've known. Stepping into a state of unknown where faith is not an option but a necessity.